


Breathing

by artsyUnderstudy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 8x17, Canon Compliant, M/M, Season gr8, Sleepy fic, Worried!Dean, fallen!cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-12
Updated: 2013-04-12
Packaged: 2017-12-08 07:25:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/758676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artsyUnderstudy/pseuds/artsyUnderstudy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean really didn’t think he could ever get used to the image of Castiel sleeping.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breathing

It scared him more than anything ever had. There he was, curled beneath his ragged coat clutching at his bag like it was the only thing in the world keeping him there, dark lids gently closed over twitching eyes. Dean wanted to vomit, or to scream, but he steadied himself. Nearly falling to his knees, Dean reached out to touch a tentative palm against his cheek, hoping he would not find it cold. The other man’s body tensed at the contact. 

Dean really didn’t think he could ever get used to the image of Castiel sleeping.

The first night in the bunker, Dean could not do anything but watch him sleep. Standing in the doorway to his own room he stared at Cas’ form against the mattress, his worry etched into his brow so deeply it lingered in the lines of his face long after he relaxed and closed his own eyes. Sam didn’t say anything about his behavior, either because he understood or because he was distracted by his own unraveling. And damn it if that’s just another thing to keep Dean awake at night. 

Cas never said a word about falling. The way Dean had found him, it wasn’t necessary. It was just as much the bruises and scrapes halfway healed along his knuckles and wrists as it was this sudden and jarring need for sleep. At least now he can’t leave. Dean thought. At least not without a fight. A fight that Dean could probably win, now. That thought worried him more. Dean eventually fell asleep in a chair next to the bed, but not before a sad smile quirked at the edges of his mouth at the irony of his position.

Dean slept for what felt like no more than a few minutes before jarring awake again, the nerves in his gut twisting like a knife as he stared at the shape of Cas’ unmoving body beneath the sheets. Dean rose to his feet and stumbled like a drunk to the other side of the bed where he could see Cas’ face more clearly. Without a thought he reached out a shaking hand to his best friend’s throat and placed his fingers gently above his pulse. He was met with the sensation of a gentle rhythmic thrum soft against his hand, his own breathing finally slowing in response.

God damn it. Dean thought, reprimanding of his irrational worry as his vision began to adjust to the small amount of light leaking in from beneath his closed door. Cas shuddered a little at Dean’s touch, still lingering against his neck, but he did not open his eyes.

“What did you do, you idiot?” Dean whispered, moving his hand a fraction against the rough skin before pulling away. He nearly started when he felt something wrap around his own wrist pulling him back. Dean’s heart hammered in his chest as Cas pulled his hand back towards his face and ghosted his lips against Dean’s knuckles. “Cas…” Dean breathed, as if it contained every question he needed to ask, and every worry that twisted in his chest.

Instead of saying any of the hundreds of things that were going through his head, he quietly slid into the bed, his hand still loose in Cas’ grip, hyper focused on the other man’s warm breath sending sparks of electricity against his skin. When he finally relaxed his body against the soft mattress, his face settled in achingly close to Cas’. Dean’s mouth was pressed against the back of Cas’ hand, mirroring the way Cas’ lips brushed against the back of Dean’s. “You’re upset.” Cas breathed quietly, voice thick with sleep as he barely opened his eyes to meet with Dean’s. “I’m sorry, Dean.” He continued, even softer, a crease forming between his eyebrows as he shut his eyes again.

It was so much easier in the dark when not even Cas could see him through closed eyes, so much easier to give into his impulses and forget about the repercussions. He frowned as he pressed his forehead against Cas’, gripping the other man’s hand tight in his own. “Just stop running, you ass.” He said, moving their entwined hands away from his mouth and pressing his lips to Cas’ so gently it made him ache. He could feel Cas stiffen, could feel his eyes wide and staring as he tried to process what was happening, and Dean almost regretted his decision before Cas finally relaxed and opened his mouth ever so slowly against Dean’s, a shudder going through his body. Dean couldn’t suppress a groan as he desperately gave into the kiss, his hand moving to grasp at Cas’ neck and pull him closer as he felt hands tangle themselves in the fabric of his shirt. When they were finally forced to part Dean still pressed his forehead to Castiel’s as his fingers ghosted along the line of his jaw. 

“It scares me, man, when you’re asleep.” Dean confessed, eyes tightly shut as he willed himself not to worry about the heat that was building in his cheeks. “It’s not right.”

“It was necessary.” Cas said, as if it were enough.

“You gunna explain that?” Dean asked, opening his eyes to look into Cas’. Cas gave him an apologetic look and his eyes flickered to the side the way they always did when he was forced to keep something from Dean.

Dean suppressed his frustration and pressed his face closer to Cas’. “Just stay this time, damn it.” He felt Cas nod against him, and he could feel the tension leak from his muscles. For now, that would have to be enough.

Once Cas had finally drifted back to sleep, Dean moved his mouth to brush against Cas’ and felt his warm, even breath on his lips. He would never, ever, get used to seeing Cas sleep. He didn’t want to.


End file.
